Does That Even Look Good?

Hey gang,

What's up? I'm nursing a hangover so serious that I couldn't even bathe properly (just brush teeth, hair, dirt off shoulders, hood up, eyes down). I know some of you feel the same.



A red haired lady who gave birth to me will be bringing sandwiches to this office, and politics, nationalism and anthems are on the menu.

When I felt like this, I used to skateboard (if I could) or walk (if I could) to a restaurant called The Chelsea Bun where they cured this feeling. Plus, you'd be sitting there, dominating the cheesiest breakfast allowed by law and look over from your seat on the patio to go "Hey what's up Bob?"



And Bob says: "Ssstrrruuuuggllle-ing mate..."

I've got literally a gallon of blueberry and raspberry juice blend. Steve Miller on the Hi Fi and smokes.

It's not the bun, but it's a living.



Watch this, it'll help.

Sunthing Special

This summer the world's brightest Dj's have been breeding mixtapes like rabbits. It's caused a diversion in our usual course of weathered standards, dance music you can play for mom and raps for life.

This just in:



That's right! Dancing songs, car joints, club a/c, cancon, new songs all mixed together by Sammy Bananas. The Sammy Bananas, Sprang maker, New Englander, vivacious dude and smoove operationalist.

SAMMY BANANAS - Summer of Sammy

Metro Area - Orange Alert
Estelle - American Boy
The Juan Mclean - Happy House
Corona - Rhythm of the Night
Sammy Bananas - Ooh Bop
Foxy - Get Off
Afro Rican - Give It All You Got
Sammy Bananas - Ladies
Treasure Fingers - Come True
Dominic Fabrig - Ain't No Fun
Laidback Luke & Steve Angello - Be (Fourcolorzack's Wineup mix)
DJ Sega - Brighter Days
Sammy Bananas - Work Me
Nadastrom - Pussy Soul
San Serac - Dub Tactics
CC Peniston - Finally
Sammy Bananas - Get Set Go
Chromeo - Bonified Lovin (Yuksek Remix)
The Human League - Love Action
Janet Jackson - Rock With U
Only Freak - Can't Get Away (Solid Groove Mix)



Here's two summer jams from Sam that slam like Bam Bam.

CHROMEO - Tenderoni (Sammy Bananas Pump This Party Remix)

SAMMY BANANAS - All The Girls



Sam is also a member of Miss Fairchild. A band who made a mixtape that I still listen to all the time. If there ever was a record for the summer, this is it. They are awesome guys, mad talented and on the rise. Get in now, so in due course, when they're having video game characters designed in their likeness you can say to your kids "Yo, but do you have the mixtape? The one where Daddy Wrall raps with Keb Mo. the one with Peg on it. You know, the one with Cee Lo, Bonnie Raitt, Common Sense and The Doobie Brothers. You got that?" See how nice they are:

Dear Whoever you are,

"We love you. Please except this gift as a token of that love. It’s called Miss Fairchild Presents the Miss Fairchild Mixtape and is a collection of some of our favorite music blended by your favorite dj, Samuel P. Nice."


THE MISS FAIRCHILD MIXTAPE



After a week of actual re-winter, the sun shines on the island again. I'm playing this and waiting to see you.



Fun fact, my uncle Bill used to call me "Jasey and the Sunshine Band"

See ya!

My Racoon Has Hepatitis

Last night, I watched I'm Not There. It's great. It makes me happy to know that a film I am willing to watch 1000 times is about a character beloved by most of my friends. Here's a sample moment of the future:

ME: Hey, do you wanna watch that Bob Dylan movie that you could watch like a thousand times?

FRIEND: Sure.

But Don't take my word for it.





When Heath Ledger explains that he had Dylan tabled for exploration later in life. Wow. Don't wait. Dig whatever perks your fancy because you or they could die.

For the last decade and a bit Dylan has been making joints like this one, get into it:


BOB DYLAN - Cold Irons Bound

"I see people in the park forgetting their troubles and woes
They're drinking and dancing, wearing bright colored clothes
All the young men with their young women looking so good
Well, I'd trade places with any of them
In a minute, if I could"
-Bob Dylan





Shout out to BIZZLEZ for photos and Melle Melissa for being all that and a bag of chips.

(and a bag of chips, cliche alert/blogchronicity alert!!!)



Clap your hands for:

1) Popular demand!
2) Old Dutch snack foods keeping the siesta-ing (siestizing?) gaucho on the package.



Shout out to Haydnundai Chryslerson (you know, the new old Darth Vader) for playing such a good Bob Dylan in Factory Girl, but the clips are too long and Edith Sledgewick is too sad.

Missoura. Recognize!

I quoted this at the end of my last post, then I had it in my head, I think this will get it out.



The Wiz and I used to stay up very late at night, living computer lives that had us as pallid as vampire mimes, PUMPING THIS SONG. I used to write Missoura's Witch's Hat myspace messages like "Yo, dudes, I know times are tough, but don't give up, your band is what people are talking about when they say "next level" even if they have never heard of you, when they say "next level" they mean "akin to Witch's Hat" please come to England and play a show, you can stay at our house."



Even now, when I hear the do-do-do-do-do at the beginning...awww man...get me a tall can of red stripe, a big blue couch and some sunglasses.

WITCH'S HAT - Glodyany 1972

Grilling It is looking extremely forward to drifting east from Vantasy Island this July. The working title is "Suzy Q and The Only Sun, Fun on Highway #1, Road Trip 08'(OH WAIT! No, Go!)" but I just made that up right now.

Pens Busted

DJ NEOTERIC - Put Your Hands Up For Samir's Theme (formerly Detroit)



The Red Wings won the Stanley Cup. Time to move on.

"You said you didn't give a fuck about hockey"
-Gord Downey

THE TRAGICALLY HIP - Fireworks

Here we go Bombers...(here we go).



West side sucks.



"So I packed my sacks and headed east, done with boredom for a while."
-Witch's Hat

The Devlin, You Know

Chris Devlin has made a new mixtape. With an emphasis on mixing.

Mixing culture, technology, jams, language, jokes, media, formats, you up, me up, we up.

Mr Devlin is a Dj for Spank Rock, but don't risk putting any of the BBC/Fully Fitted collective into the Pitchfork Haystack.

Hey, I read Pitchfork, every day, but...not every day somebody makes a mixtape like this.

CHRIS DEVLIN - We Make It Good

It is a trip, and I know how the readers of this blog like trips. So, get on board with Devlin, it's first class (breakfast included in price of ticket).

Snap your seatbelts. Flip your tables. Pretend to turn your walkman off, but then slip it under your blanket, the air hostess will not know and they do not interfere with the navigation system.

Extinguish all smoking items.



As a special bonus here's Chris Devlin's edit of Lady Bug.

BUMBLEBEE UNLIMITED - Lady Bug (Devlin Edit)

I scoured the internet to find a human lady in a lady bug costume that was as hot as I imagine the protagonist of the above song to be. All I got were trashy or fuzzy S&M numbers like this:



So, lets settle on the following image and move on. After all, I have to pick up the ribs and pizza, get to Grandma's house and watch the hockey. East coast evening hockey games start at 2:24 PM yesterday Pacific Time, so I gotta keep these shifts short.



Oh, wait, there she is...hi miss...would you like a Nectar and Tonic? They call me Big Bee Q



Seriously, still not as hot as Ladybug from the song (I pictured black hair), but you wouldn't kick her out of your honeycomb for eating leaves in bed.

Note to the manufacturer's of Ladybug Lure. It works. I hope they hustle a lot of the stuff.

FULLY FITTED - 100 Million

PENS!

BBQ

Sports. Right? Errr!

I remember the Wiz used to say that Benson and Hedges Silver cigarettes reminded him of "newspapermen." Let's do this (notice the spot on the pack for "notes").



A diletante's dabble in the cliched quagmire of sportswriting by Jason P Quinton.

Pens Mightier

Last night, a contrast to the freshwater grace of Lake Michigan the Pittsburg Penguins dismantled the engine of the mighty motor city Detroit Red Wings. To fly, the dream of man and flightless bird alike, was realized when the Penguins Peter Sykora scored halfway through the third overtime period. They should've called him Sick Aura, cause that dude is ill and magic.



After getting off to a great start, the Penguins then waddled through the second and third period, squandering a two goal lead like so many rotten fish carcases, discarded on the frozen arctic tundra. With ten minutes left in the final frame of regulation time, Detroit took a one goal lead.



The champagne buckets were wheeled amongst the jock straps and bloodied tape and beard trimmings of the Red Wing's dressing room. The Stanley Cup was polished and positioned in the hallway leading to the ice, just out of view of players on the bench, but sparkling in the mind's eye of all fans. For Detroit boosters, it's shine a promise of a return to late 90's glory, not unlike the new Weezer album. For supporters of the Penguins - including the chubby and morose Mario Lemiueux who sat in the press box teetering on the edge of what looked like a full blown poutine overdose - the presence of the cup on their TV screen meant that the excitement of their young but composed team was set to fizzle, like Danny Devito's Oswald Cobblepot in Batman Returns.



With goalie Marc Andre Fleury out of the net (risky), and all Penguin honkers (and the Penguins themselves) seeing red, in a sea of red, Maxime Talbot jammed a puck in the net to send the game to overtime. It was not pretty, but the beauty of the goal lay in the sheer determination and importance, like the migration of a certain dapper, portly avian creature.



We sat through three overtime's. In Sweden and Newfoundland, the fans didn't even know where they were as the time ticked later into the night. Imagine the pain of staying awake all night in Sweden, suffering through Bob Cole's consistently warbling and unsure fifth hour of commentary, to have to go to work on no sleep, not knowing the victor.

In the end, the Wings were clipped. Peter Sykora aka Pee Sick aka THA CORE was able to help the Penguins make an escape from the biggest little chop shop in Michigan, taking the series back to Steeltown. They will heat it up, but hopefully not bend.



The Penguin may wear its natural tuxedo with pride today. Everybody hates Detroit, but it is not shadenfreude, but rather honest joy in the glow of the flashing red light (that heavenly light) and saw a bird soar while still on the ground.



NOT LIKE THAT!



Game 6 is Wednesday, in Marioville, and the birds will be welcomed with open wings.



THE TRAGICALLY HIP - Emperor Penguin

YACHT (You Actually Can't Help/Hurt Time)

The hockey could end tonight.

"It was in Pittsburg, late one night, I lost my hat(head?), got into a fight."
-Bob Dylan

TRAVELING WILBURY'S - MARGARITA



It's warm out. So let us embrace the always smooth, often urbane, transcendentally liberating vibes of yacht rock.

All songs have been float/water/boat tested.

DONALD FAGEN - I.G.Y

"Get your ticket to that wheel in space
While there's time
The fix is in
You'll be a witness to that game of chance in the sky
You know we've got to win
Here at home we'll play in the city
Powered by the sun
Perfect weather for a streamlined world
There'll be spandex jackets, one for everyone"
-Donald Fagen

THE DOOBIE BROTHERS - What A Fool Believes

"She musters a smile
For his nostalgic tale
Never coming near what he wanted to say
Only to realize
It never really was"
-Michael McDonald / Kenny Loggins

BLIND FAITH - Can't Find My Way Home
"Oh, and I'm wasted, and I can't find my way home"
-Steve Winwood



It's borderline full blown summer out here on Vantasy Island. So let's shake down some summer footwear options. I love flip flops as much as the next dude, but summer means misbehavin' so the criteria is set at something you can RUN in.



Done and done and done (and I mean DONE)...but they get HOT. The shame and inconvenience that accompanies leaving your slip-ons outside all September due to aroma is undignified.



An unfuckwittable classic, but they are pricey and more than a tad hippyish.



Comfortable, breezy, elegant but relaxed. The timeless stalwart boat shoe is a refined choice for those that don't mind screaming GROWN. Wearing boat shoes is the Nauticalist's version of always carrying a condom in your wallet. My Uncle Johnny wears boat shoes all the time, all year, in Winnipeg. You never know when the opportunity to boat will present itself.

"If you boat a lot you are known as a boating enthusiast. I like to boat, but I just don't ever want to be referred to as a boating enthusiast. I hope they call me a guy that likes to boat."
-Mitch Hedberg

Peace from Cowichan Bay.

BBQ

EXTREME!

Cirque De Soleil is unlike anything I've ever seen before. Wow. Do not miss it. If you have the chance, go.

Eye popping pageantry.

Ensemble excess en masse.

Magic Theatrixxx.

Radical extremism.