Gulp

What with Frost Nixon mania sweeping the globe, this is called for.

Mark Felt aka Deep Throat has died. Here's the article I wrote for Kimono.ca (also, RIP) upon his emergence from anonimity in June 2005 (in June 2005, when stacking double entendres until they tip over was my idea of "comic genius").



Deep Throat Swallows Pride, Spits Out Identity

By Cookie Blankman
Washington Correspondent

The glistening truth behind the identity of Nixon squealer "Deep Throat" splattered against the faces of a nation this week, as mouths hung agape; waiting for more. As a top-level member of the FBI brass, W. Mark Felt; couldn't resist his righteous snitching as Nixon peeked under the paper of freedom's Christmas presents. Felt's emergence proves that any other claims to Deep Throathood are spoofs.

As quickly as Deep Throat had once again come into the headlines, with a gulp, we closed our eyes, and he was gone. A spokesperson for JISM, The Journal of Incognito Snitches Monthly, reported that although Deep Throat has now been wiped away from the realm of mystery, he has left a crust on our culture and a bad taste in the mouths of corrupt, paranoid, mean-spirited heads of state everywhere. He stated: " you see men and see women everyday all with secrets, the amazing thing about Deep Throat is that it took little stroking before he sucked a presidential office into the tube of truth."

A salty, white, opaque old man, Felt liberally discharged this information, ending a decade old mystery. He needed to let the years fluff by so that he could stand erect and burst with joy that he was the seed that fertilized the egg of the Watergate investigation that hatched with an impeached Nixon.

Autobiographical documentary fans can gobble up Mr. Felt's eponymous film at a variety of Internet web sites.



Here's the saucy video for Claude VonStroke's song "Deep Throat"



While we're in danceland...here's the perfect stocking stuffer for the party animal on your holiday gift designation (no Xmas-o) list.