Tell Me Something Good

Humbug mode, on standby. Coal sack, stocked. Reindeer meat, thawing.

Be not fooled ye merry ladies and gentlemen. It's not Christmas on this blog. Not yet.

We've put up no decoration in the Grilling it offices, in fact, we lost all the candles for the menorah and have had to resort to reefers in their stead. The Christmas celebration doesn't begin until December 20th, we're not even playing the Dipset, Bob Dylan, Eek A Mouse or Hello Kitty holiday records yet, but I pause the Scroogery to bring you the issue of the 2009 Christmas Number One.

The Christmas Number One is a hallowed holiday tradition from the land of cobbled stone, clotted cream and overs of the Ashes over pints of wife-beater.

Yes. England.

A land where people still line-up (sorry, "queue")on the sidewalk (ahem, "pavement") to clutch Cd single's the day they come out. This year, due to a movement on Facebook; Rage Against The Machine are in the lead for this year's sales title. Hip Britons are gobbling up the MP3 of "Killing In The Name," as it rocks alongside a tune by their latest reality TV singing star Joe McElderry.

The pop song seems the natural choice, but following each other like a yonder star, Rage might just win through the glory of the internet.

Here for your enjoyment and bemusement are our favourite of the Christmas number ones:

1965



1975



1981



2000



2009?



Will the subjects of Queen Elizabeth II's kingdom have the bandwidth to say "Fuck You, I won't Do What You Tell Me!" Can glorious indignant rock of the 90's spit in the face of Simon Cowell's latest pop of mush out of the telly mold? Oh Nine could end with a lot of spine.