Time Out Of The Season

Don't stop the car, she said.
 
C'mon sis, your older bro just needs a bargain on a backpack.

Briefcases and valises are unbecoming of a man who needs both his hands.
 
I've got skateshop cheese, but I also need expensive cheese cheese.
 
And get so fucked up that all I can eat is melted cheese cheese.
 
Quoth the big Sis: "I have too many Ex-Boyfriends who work at Mountain Equipment Co-Op"  
 
We were in Victory City, BC

She makes a mean granola.
 
How do you make a Granola mean?
 
Club a seal.
 
They don't play enough Seal in the club:
 

 
Back to our regularly scheduled granolagram...

Hippie steez is alive and tweeting in the west.

(yeah, sing into the microphone...this is so much easier than guitar....)

 
"Home" by Ed Sharp and his band of of zeros, without that twee rambling love story/arborism bail
 
On public transit, cans on, you cast Zooey Dechanel, or lil Juno in the lead.
 
The people on bikes ripped past your tram.
 
They don't give a shit beyond the street.
 
Queen street in particular
 
Queens everywhere.
 
Pints of glitter in bars named like garages.
 
Padise Lost fell off in the last season.
 
Kids that didn't want to put in the work to get Modest Mouse were quick to hop over and pogo for Justice.
 
The Winter of our Nu-disco tent.


 
Winter Wheat, held close.

"What Wu Tang manual doesn't come in video game form?"

Let me get that Gucci Maine and Wacka Flocka Flame.
 
Seem safe and legit...
 
Sounds tight.
 
Like my pants.
 
Ouch!
 
Don't get your underoos in a knot, Macauley.
 
But those dudes picked names that rhyme with everything, depending how you mispronounce it.

Game, lame, blame, shame, plain...plane...

It's winter time and we're staying sylvan. We gotta get out of this place, if it's the last thing we ever do.

Girl, there's a better life for me and -

Coo-roo-coo-coo-coo-coo-roo-coo-kook



We stay animals.

Find a forest if you can.

Starts with trees.

Taste the reign.

"Our thesis is mimesis/being like the trees is"

"Seeing the seams in the seeming jesus"

Beards, robes, passing on the kool-aid

Pull me another Kool out the pack.

I never did get that backpack.

The Gonz Rap

Over the last grip of years, this dude Gonzales has made a bunch of excellent music ranging from hip-hop to pop to dance to ragtime to classical.

See:



On his new mixtape he gets real seriously flippant as he jacks a bunch of rap, reversioning the joints, adding accapellas, underscoring and cutting in clips of himself talking about making things:

"I'll just be sitting at home, counting my money off those Feist royalties, in front of the fire, hot French sluts, one after the other, it's crazy man. And I'll be like, oh shit, I'm the underdog...and I have to find adversaries - real or imagined - and believe me, I find them."
-Gonzales

Tape of the year for me, so far:

Pianist Envy - Chilly Gonzales (Download Link to Arts & Crafts Mixtape)



For you casual internet users who may have missed it:

These Song Will Change Your Wife

Nice out.
Boots off.
Yachting loafers ready...sneakers on.
(air horn)
Shades off the bench.
Hat time.
Fuck yeah.
I melt with you.

I took my morning coffee at my neighbourhood spot sans headphones today. The sun owning the city, smells of real spring (not just fraudulent warm snap fool's gold spring), and my thoughts. One of the best things about shunning the curation of one's own soundtrack is that dj brain takes over and various tunes float into the consciousness. Here are the three that I sang internally before returning home to zap them to you.



The Shins are a band that get hated on mercilessly by those who resent the burgeoning and fickle hype machine that emerged in the 00's as "alternative" changed to "indie" as a marketing tool for an industry that was losing its ability to market. Around here, we still think that they're dope, and this autumn tune works as well in Spring as it does in the fall it was penned for.



Scandinavian pop punk of my youth about food. No further explanation necessary.



Apparently Guru is out of his coma. Excellent. Gifted Unlimited Rhymes Universal is one of the best mc's to ever do it, and as he recovers, let us all do the same. Whether taking a trip, tripping, falling, springing, traveling or flying: let the wisdom of the greats be your guide and let us celebrate before it's too late.

Slow Vacuous

"Some people believe the Mayan myth that the world is going to end in 2012. Personally, I'm excited for 2012 because Dakota Fanning's birthday means I'm not a pervert anymore"
-Scoops

Adam Gopnik for Thine New Yorker on Canada vs Russia (literary references)

Speaking of iced canes, we were victorious against the Ruskies, and I have almost recovered from all the syrup I chugged in triumph.



Tomorrow night! Slovakia. A bunch of venerable killer players who can make it through the game at their advanced ages thanks to the courtesy of the olympics not letting dudes punch them in the face and stab them with sticks.

Inside The Rap Artist Studio (No Lipton)

Do you have seven minutes to listen to Mos Def talking about why he loves MF Doom?

"De La are technicians...that's on some Steely Dan shit."
-Mos Def

Cat Skills

Hi gang. I'm currently working out a short story on cats (the animal not the musical) and as soon as it's done and published, then you'll see it. Well it's not JUST about cats, it's also about deer, Indians, the afterlife, western expansion, rabbits, living in the moment, a man's false construction of the things he did not do having some bearing on his fate, rock music and staying up all night. Oh, and it's a comedy.

The point is, I've had cats on the brain in a serious way, and then today I see this amazing video of Louis Wain's work and its progression as he descends into Schizophrenia. His renderings of cats get progressively unreal as he becomes more mentally ill.



THE KINKS - Phenomenal Cat

THE COUP - Fat Cats, Bigga Fish

If anyone has any cat related media that I should be using as inspiration, please leave tips/links in the comments. Bear in mind that I have TS Eliot, the Cat Power Discography and Fritz The Cat.

Ok, thanks for reading watching listening stopping...skip on...

Update From The Wiz

MAN IN PREVIOUS POST...

NOT A REAL WIZARD!

The Mingus CAT-alog

Bass legend Charles Mingus created a manual for the toilet training of cats. His cat was apparently named "Nightlife" which is an unassailably awesome name for a cat. Give it a read below, it has gold like this in it:

"When he jumps up he will not be afraid of the hole because he expects it. At this point you will realize that you have won. The most difficult part is over."

The Charles Mingus CAT-alog



If I had a cat I would name it Lance Dubowitz or maybe CC. I like naming pets after humans, and specifically after your buddies. The Wiz (bad name for a pet cause of pee) had a dog growing up named Howard, and Howard was one of his Dad's buddies. Everytime you go to your buddies place, the pet is named after you. You see how well this works, dear reader. Good clean fun for troubled times.



At 3:00 in the following video, Jeru rolls a Mingus sample beat by Primo down the hill and into the river.

RFUS II

Internet Music is a fountain of nostalgia. Put both hands and ears in this spray of classics and driiiiiink. Jams fromt he 1990's that will sound good until your nineties.

Radio Friendly Unit Shifter 09'



Brought to you by the radtastic daily must read @ Mishka

Briefing

If I were writing for a weekly local rag I would begin with: "Local funnyman, Dave Morris proves that less-is-MORE-is with his new very short stories..." But this is no local rag, this is a website for discerning surfers, so I make with the earnest blurbery.

Comedian homies have been lighting up the net this week. For Monday, take a break and dig in to the 140 character or less very short stories by British Columbian poet, lover, actor, teacher, smoker, friend, rapper, beatbox and storyteller "Sweet Sweet Dave Morris."

Here's my favourite, I'd call it "Landing Your Dreams" which would also be good if it were about a skateboarder, but it's about a sea captain, Dave:

"The sea was a swell of seaweed and salt, when the captain finished the rum. Like the sea, he could not be tamed. Like the waves, he crashed."

Dave's Very Short Stories

The Prairie Dog

I wanted to add this to the UMFM post, but the CD wouldn't rip and I couldn't find the moop3. Here's the song that I couldn't find in the vortex of this Nexus of computering. Thanks to The Wiz for finding his copy.

Dialog was one of the finest radio dj's on UMFM, and one of the nicest co-workers I ever had the pleasure of stacking cd's and talking about music with. He was the one who put a teenage me onto Diamond D and the Psychotic Neurotics Stunts Blunts and Hip Hop. A gentle, laid back, mellow, badass rap tastemaker, beatmaker and rhymesayer.



Here's a song of his, that illustrates why you should support college radio and the people who make it happen.

Dialog - The Prairie Dog



There's more information at THE UMFM WEBSITE



All images are taken from Grilling It associate Frank Kimono's award winning film Ou Est Maurice, about a dog, made in the prairie. You would be watching it right now, but I couldn't find a copy online and Franek and Peterson are in Montreal right now making counterfeit Rolexes in a script club.

Learning To Speak Chinese Eyes

I put my sister's Ipod on random, and BOOM! Fast beat, acoustic guitar, Sweet Suga Lo rapping his face off, Trick Daddy addressing the truth in adlibs, a song with a course literally about what I was watching happen as I was listening.

TRICK DADDY feat CEE LO GREEN - Dro In Da Wind

Told you we'd be back strong. Now czech out this crazy wind house:



PS: Here's a video fron Warren Zevon's heartbreaking album, The Wind (see what I've done there) that features an ipod (two doubles) and is awesome.

Music videos can be very low budget if you pick great shots, cut with restraint and don't feature the artist in ten different locations. Up-and-coming starts of R&B, this is how it can be done...

Out To Lunch

The Canadian government is EATING ITSELF.

PUBLIC ENEMY - Shut Em Down (Pete Rock Remix)

You didn't know it was for dinner, but we've ordered a pizza parliament.



Venice is literally sinking.

Bring on the weird.

Cat Specific Web Humour (Rap Related) (LULZ Guaranteed)

The curmudgeon of cool TwentyTwenty dumped this on the rug of the interestnet, so I thought I'd post it here, cause shits needs homes in the neu economy, not to mention winter.





Here is the marginally less funny original.





Images courtesy of Garfield minus Garfield, a website:

"a site dedicated to removing Garfield from the Garfield comic strips in order to reveal the existential angst of a certain young Mr. Jon Arbuckle. It is a journey deep into the mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness and depression in a quiet American suburb. "

I'd get to that faster than Garfield finds lasagna...nope...not funny...my wife thought that was gangbusters.

See you later. I need a break from the screen.

Old Odd Fights

The staff here at Grilling It intend on keeping our promise of a bigger, better, badder (meaning gooder) flow of posts. I've had this mixtape for months and in a wintery drought neglected to share it.

The time is now, as the Stanley Cup finals pause for 24 hours and move to Steeltown USA (aka The birthplace of Clifford Heinrichs MAN OF STEEL THE ETERNAL PAPA H).

It is a conflict of youth vs defense, as the bright lights of iced sports are being thoroughly schooled at Osgood Hall (These are hockey references, read on).

It's a meditation on the game we love, by two of Winnipeg's finest. It involves an appearance on talk radio. You read that correctly, the action line. To all the new jack youngblood dj's...they will teach you haw to (publicity) stunt.

DJ CO-OP and DJ HUNNICUT - Hockey vs Rap



I gathered from the clips provided, the CJOB audience was overlooking the connection between criminal violence in service of self preservation in ghetto life, as a reaction to poverty, and the religion of violent sport in Canada, as a reaction to winter.

1. Hockey vs Rap Intro - CJOB / John Smith / Bobby Orr
2. Sexual Eruption / What Have You Done For Me Lately - Snoop Dogg / Janet Jackson
3. Brass in Africa - Hypnotic Brass Ensemble
4. Space Funk - Manzel
5. Don't You Evah (Mike 2600 Party Version) - Spoon
6. Amen Brother (DJ Co-op Edit) - The Winstons
7. Tighten Up - Mophono
8. Conmigo - Nickodemus
9. Night Windows (DJ Co-op Remix) - The Weakerthans
10. Savoir Patiner - Guy Lafleur
11. Interlude - DJ Fin-s
12. Spanky' Sunshine - Bombs
13. Dance With Me - Ben Westbeech
14. Rock and Roll Part 2 / The Whole World - Gary Glitter / Outkast
15. Personal Jesus / Boyz - Depeche Mode / MIA
16. Berimbau - DJ Sandrinho
17. Just Fine / Bad Man Place - Mary J Blige / Movado and Busy Signal
18. Hockey Night in Canada Theme

I know it was a wintry thing, but if the Movado and Busy Signal remix, "Berimbau", The Westbeech tune and the ENORMOUS Gary Glitter/Outkast blend don't make you feel summer, well...I can't do nothin for ya.

If hip-hop hasn't done anything for ya lately, or ever, or whatever...look at the next image and read on.



Resist the urge to skip, or not download the next song.

Hit Somebody (The Hockey Song) - Warren Zevon

"Zevon is famous for his ability to stay awake for as long as it takes -- often for 85 or 90 straight hours. "I wrote 'Hit Somebody in 75 hours,' " he said, "and look what happened to that one."
-Hunter S Thompson

Hunter's article linked below is as good an elegy for a friend and compadre as anyone could ever want.


Death of an American poet
By Hunter S. Thompson



I don't usually link to products, but here's a BARGAIN price for one of Hunter Thompson's best works:

Hey Rube: Blood Sport, the Bush Doctrine, and the Downward Spiral of Dumbness--Modern History from the Sports Desk (Hardcover)



I farmed this next video from Caps today. It's just one of those tubes worth watching. If it's boring, keep watching, something happens.



Jocks.



To finish.

Sam Seaborn.

Mad drama.

CC Defehr-esque moves.