"This is mass madness, you maniacs."

Spring in the Kingdom reminds me that:

Greatness happens every day.

Music, movies, friends, travel, homes...Thus began the messiah's myspace profile. Displayed user name: MESSIAHSPACE.

The Rub History Of Hip Hop is available for free download. Three of the world's best Dj's show how we got to a state of yo.

THE RUB HISTORY OF HIP HOP

It's a free education, like what you get in Canada if you take out loans, are very smart, gifted at sports or had your land stolen from your ancestors by the white man.

MAN LIKE ME - OH MY GOSH

Raving about hip hop is nothing new, neither is ranting, but:

"Thou shall not think that any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not his is a pedophile, some people are just nice"

"Thou shall not use art music or poetry to get into girls pants, use it to get into their heads (first: ed)"

"Thou shall not steal if there is a direct victim"

DAN LE SAC Vs SCROOBIUS PIP - THALL SHALT ALWAYS KILL

British Hip Hop at it's finest, I wish I didn't have to qualify that. Listen close...it's grimey.

PLAN B - PAINT IT BLACKER

This next song is especially good to blast in the office if you are on the verge of being fired from a job in London for producing a segment that made fun of Maroon 5. That last statment was all autobiographicalized. That is why I'm hot.

SKINNYMAN - I'LL BE SURPRISED

To purchase music, try HMV.com or turntablelab.com or amazon.com, or just google the name of the record you want to buy.

You don't even have to put in the huh tuh tuh puh. You could go to a record store. Make an actual effort as well as a monetary expenditure, like this guy:



Shout out to all my former Hoomv bretheren from St Vital Center to First Canadian Place, I'll be back on home soil someday, expecting that discount. If I have to steal, I've still got the uniform.

I just tried to find a copy of Phantom Power by The Tragically Hip in this flapartment and didn't find one. I wanted to post this:

FIREWORKS - THE TRAGICALLY HIP

Nuff Day For Night in this old school.

Doing my GMT best to stay on the NHL Playoffs right now, after all, in London, with no cable, I would have to go to the Canadian Pub every night to watch games that the internet has already revealed the outcome of.



On "Canada Day", Canadians in London merge American jingoism with British dipsomania.



I don't know whether to call it "dipsoism" or "patriomania."

Dipsoism

The review neglects to mention Moosehead...in a bottle (oh!). Yes, that review is from a website called fancyapint.com.

This was the only clip I could find featuring "Orgasm Guy." It's worth watching just to hear Norm Macdonald say "C'est impossible there."

"Dude, did you just use dipsomania and jingoism in a blog post?"

Dennis Millering vocab and refurrrrences like, Ron Hextall trying to use a hardcover copy of the Da Vinci Code to bribe security at to let him smoke a Player's Light King Size in Lester B Pearson Airport (impossible).







Winnipeg is my hometown, and we still remember the "Hawerchuck Trade", but The Stencil is running sharp, glistening and pointed (literally, bullet points, numericals) Sabres Playoff Coverage.

They are about to form the internet into cascading rings of cardboard and cover it in aluminum foil.

According to The Stencil:

"caps: I am listening to "rock you like a hurricane - the symphonic version" ON REPEAT"

If you need to ask why, then get there and hear the stomping tatanka (NOT the wrestler). Let's just say that there are brief run downs of pre-game rituals, anthems and meals. You cant spell Fandom without, DAMN!

Caps (of veteran Dj duo Caps and Jones fame) who runs the blog also made Bouillabaisse is a shockingly good mix that will crackle and explode in your ears, like the sound a crowd of angry Winnipeg fans screaming "B-C-SUCKS!"

To think that kids in Winnipeg once thought this man could save like a messiah:



I once held up a sign that said "No Foolin' With Khabibulin!"



Actually, it said this:



They tore down Winnipeg Arena and moved our hockey team to P-H-O-E-N-I-X!




Thou shall not ever put your hands up or make some noise for Detroit.



I have a British Columbia driver's license, so I'll close with the one truth about the hockey playoffs and life as a Canadian.

"When the Chips are down and the snow is melting, never trust the Senators in Ottawa, and whenever you get the chance, throw a jersey on. and (Can) NUCK IF YO BUCK!"





Look in his eyes. It's B.C.

Buddy.

Go Canucks

CHOW

BBQ

PS: This is now the official countdown to the post with the Schimmer mix.

Cheers mate

Chairs meet

Boss

Song Yo Mama Has Sex 2 But Nut Wit Yo Daddy

My big homie Schimmer has done this little bouncy thang for all you sinners. It's springtime, the forecast for the next six months calls for F-U-N!

It's called "Songs Yo Mama Has Sex 2 But Nut Wit Yo Daddy", it's positively bumptastically shakenoodlingly radturistic.

Schimmer...



"Schimmer Presents: Songs Yo Mama Has Sex 2 But Nut Wit Yo Daddy"



1) John Lennon - speech from the Dakota (same place he died, ooooh) VS. DJ T - Funk on You
2) Temptations - Papa was a Rolling Stone (Cosmo Baker Applause Remix)
3) Curtis Mayfield - Move on Up (DJ Ayres Remix)
4) Heavy D - We Got Our Own Thang (Smalltown DJs Remix)
5) Digital Underground vs. Freeform 5 - Humptyeeeaaaaow
6) Daft Punk vs Stetsanoic - Talkin Around the World
7) Aaron Lacrate feat. Amanda Blank - Blow (Oxys Anthem feat. Roxy Cottontail & Amanda Blank remix)
8) Hai Karate Allstars - Rebel Radio (Smalltown Djs remix)
9) Franz Ferdinand - The Fallen (Justice remix)



Weather and the universe permitting, in summer, you will find our soundsystem at places we feel comofortable. We are hippy ravers and afraid the city.

Little and Luda

Did you know?

Plastic Little are wicked entertainers, stand up guys, borne from a collective of literate current of radness in Philledelphia, and they are also those super dudes.

Yoyo got rocked, Mark Ronson was playing his hits of the near future, but took time out to thank the guys for doing what they do. What is this a gossip column, and Mark's sisters were seen having lunch at the Ivy with...

After he sang "Stop Me", I wanted to find Daniel Merriweather and go "HARDEN THE FUCK UP AUSTRALIA", but I was boozing with Plastic Little, learning that they do these too:

JAYSON FROM PLASTIC LITTLE'S PAGE OF ART (For the record I knew about this, it's my blog I do what I want)

THE FREE NEWS PROJECTS

SPACE 1026

The weekend is very young, P Lill will show London what rap o'oclock GMT is all about.

"Wayne Gretzky has remarked that it was Clarke's play "from behind the net" that inspired him to improve that area of his game. Most regard Gretzky as the best ever from that position on the ice."

Flin Flon stand up

Philly stretch out

London?

Visors down, the broad street bullies are in town.

THIS IS UNFUCKWITTABLE

Re-Release Therapy

North American Cocks

Last night, long weekend Saturday, was spent hearing colours and seeing sounds, throwing soaked bandanas around with this dude. A new cocktail was developed:

"Monolith" or "High Ho Silver Medal"

To be served in a pint glass

Fill glass with ice

2 Oz Vodka
1 Oz Cointreau

Add Pomegranite Juice till glass is half full
Top glass with orange juice adding a dash of blacurrant and/or blueberry juice
Add three fresh rasberries and a squirt of lime juice/small wedge of lime.

Stir

Put sunglasses on, stay up late.



LCD SOUNDSYSTEM - NORTH AMERICAN SCUM (Dunproofins Not From England Either Mix)

STEELY DAN - FM

"The girls don't seem to care...tonight...as long as the music's right"
-Steely Dan from "FM"

In all the trippery we spent massive time talking about how excited we are for the Biz Biz UK tour. A note to goth girls everywhere: you can rock tons of pink and still be very good at witchcraft.



They are not witches, but damn their magic still messes up boys brains through internetting and afternoon speakerphone pow wows. More perog-atives on that as the invasion nears. For now, they run a Toronto nerdster hip alert photblog here



THE BETA BAND - B + A

Speaking of the letter B, Big Brodeller Baddyman Basement has been bashing his blog out the ballpark, and he's been to modest to tell me about it in any of our weekly internettings.

Everything In The Sky

No Justice For The Phantom Of Old Rave

As I was walking through the train station on my way home from work, I walked into the middle of a flash rave. If you're unfamiliar witht he concept, click here

I got into it, as much as I did, because I was listening to this:

IT'S ME BITCHES (Remix) - LIL WAYNE, R KELLY, JADAKISS and SWIZZ BEATZ



I missed the start of the flash rave, and I guess that if you miss the flash you're never really in the picture, but it was a distancing experience. Everyone has headphones on, and is moving in different time to different music. When the real howling and hooting and hollering takes over, you have headphones blasting, so you miss the full effect of a group getting audibly wild.

I could hear the sound of the station in the background. Commuters are really loud. I was wearing headphones, not miracles.

WHAT PLANET, WHAT STATION (Instrumental) - DJ DAY

Maybe next time I'll run around changing headphones with cute girls.

I can play them this:

WILCO - ALWAYS IN LOVE



In this blippage of new raves and flash raves, I think an important thing to remember about raving is that sharing music, having fun and getting down are way more important than the question "Who is looking at me."

Making out with headphones on in a train station is like going for a moonlight walk on a beach wearing oven mits.

My homeboy Steve Honey bounces with a love for music, it crackles through the dude and you can faintly hear the love, even when there's total silence. He's been shredding dancefloors and putting them on his sandwich for years under the DJ CODA name, his new project is:

PHANTOHMS

Mad Visuals

This upcoming Wednesday a coterie of video visuals that my drinking buddy / media bus buddy Sneaky D and I made will be screening on the walls of the Proud Gallery in Camden Town London.

Here's the flyer



As you can see/read there are bands playing. Heat up the webpads of Semaphore and Ribeye Jake. Ribeye is a dude who I've seen wreck the whole shop and then put the tools back in autobiographical order, and Louie from Semaphore brings his Waits, Cash and educational singalongs to every house party.

For those in London, the Proud Gallery is somewhere on the corner of Hipster Boulevard and Famous Mews, the nearest tube stop is Laidefinetely.

http://www.proud.co.uk/

Fuckin art fuck, here's a sample of the kind of stuff that will be on display:

"With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.
Jack Nicholson"



I'll be the guy tinkering with projectors telling girls that the "AV" in AV Club stands for abstinence victim, there's rap too, I might even grab a mic, come on over. It will be insane, at least my stuff will be, I know cause I've seen it.

Speaking of insanity.

I saw !!! on Thursday night and they were unbeleivably hard to describe. One of the best rock shows I've ever seen. With dancing.

!!! - Must Be The Moon

Blog house got a wikipedia entry, Kissy Sell Out remixed Mark Rosnon, the whole LCD Soundsystem record. Nu Rave maybe you weren't a movement after all, but more like a "Crystal Pepsi" for a overloaded bunch of geeks, kids and hipsters, needing movements to help them make choices. Glow sticks burn out. Timeless jams and unforgettable live performances are kind of what life is all about.

LCD Soundsystem - Someone Great

Chan Marshall will be in my city of residence in early May. Oh geez, oh geez, gotta get cleaned up for that one.

Cat Power - The Moon

I love Chan Marhall, and she'll have my attention at the show, but, the cute needle is in the pink, it's raining hearts and bald people are growing full heads of pitless chocolate cherries.

The Biz and La Biz, UK tour 07, same time as Cat Power. Not a coincidence.

Time to break out t shirt that says "Lucky Bastard" on it and spill wine on the dancefloor. Thanks to the recent visit by my mother the girls will be able to see my room. That's not a joke. The place looks great, and it better.



CHOW

BBQ

2.0.2.0

TWENTY TWENTY has blessed the webosphere and earosphere and eyeosphere (not to be confused with Ionosphere, but see the tracklist as you may wind up gassed and electrified) with a new mix called "Forty Minutes of Fun." He's also launched a new website, it's got music notes, purple and everything...golly gang it's really quite sumpin.

www.djtwentytwenty.com

DJ TWENTYTWENTY - FOURTY MINUTES OF FUN

Dude's a curmudgeon, but you know, for the right side. We have laughs. He's really good at what he does, I've prolly complimented him enough.



The Specs:

my egyptian lover (loose cannons mix)- space cowboy
suenos dulces- thunderheist
sweaty wet/ dirty damp- gameboy/ gamegirl
lindsay lohan's revenge- pase rock
chick fit (kissy sell out mix)- all saints
helicopter (weird science mix)- bloc party
shake it up (stanton warriors mix)- beatnuts
camera (sebastian mix)- editors
yummy knockout (paparazzi mix)- gwen stefani
foxy lady (speaker punks mix)- jimi hendrix
shhhake it up- diplo vs the beatles
kinda new (dirty south mix)- spektrum
rock steady (mstrkrft mix)- all saints
fucking boyfriend (peaches mix)- the bird and the bee
phantom (thunderous olympian's lite ghosts mix)- justice
all that she wants- ace of base
knife (girl talk mix)- grizzly bear / clipse

In addition to being a Dj, twentytwenty is a brother. His sister Kim is a gas, a straight shootin goofy good dame-a-lam-a-dingdong. She plays voice and guitar in a Tinsletown two-piece called Eagle and Talon, that receive my pattented "Bandswatch" as a band to watch.

EAGLE AND TALON - THEY'RE SO SHARP (snippet)


In a few years when they're both stars you can read my erudite but phlegmatic analysis of the musical personas of these siblings in something like Nylon or the wall of the third stall on the left of Norrie Mcentyre's Fish Farm and Mortuary, Falcon Beach, Manitoba, Canada. After all, who isn't a sucker for a brother sister combo with chops to go.



BBQ'S RIGHT ARM RECORDS: INSTALLMENT 1

Before being a monk, an islamist, supposed Rushdie hater and banned in the USA, Cat Stevens and made this:

"Tea For The Tillerman" by Cat Stevens (buy)


On blast like Slayer in Guantanamo. This album should receive a commendation from the Worldwide Psychiatrists Guild for all the bad trips it must've righted before the mind fled.

BUT I MIGHT DIE TONIGHT - CAT STEVENS

The Tea Bowls sequence in Shorty's Fulfill The Dream, set to "Why Do The Children Play", is one of the best bits of skateboard filmaking ever.

WHY DO THE CHILDREN PLAY? - CAT STEVENS

SKATE DIGRESSION

This video illuminated much about hip hop that I didn't fully understand, and came along at a crucial time in my development, where Punk Rock and Metal could've had me forever.

Here's the opening sequence, which caused Sudermann to walk around all summer belting out "We came her tonight to get started, to cold act ill or get retarded!"



Here's Aaron Snyder's stellar debut:



Peter Smolik's shocking imtroduction to the world (poorly de-interlaced fanatics only:



This video had a great deal of influence on the widespread popularity of tech skateboarding and little kid teams.

Muska's Epic Work:



Speaking of epicism and skateboarding, Epiclylaterd has a new show on VBS

This is what Muska was aiming for, The Gonz, Video Days:



Guy Mariano as a kid:



Celebrity Movie Star Jason Lee!!!



Also directs Beck:



Fronts Stillwater:




Is Earl:



Of course, Brodieman:



All the respect in the world to Spike Jonze who directed "Video Days."

A few of the best TV Commercials ever:





Two of the best movies ever:





SO MANY MUSIC VIDEOS

Weezer + Green + Animals = Cuteapalooza



Bjork + Images That Distract From Her Voice/ Bjork Hams It Up X Bjork Uses Her Voice For The Forces Of Good = Busby Berkley Wet Dreams



Chem Bros + Sofia's Hammers = Godfather 3? No I beleive there were just two.



"How bout the power of flight, that do anything for ya holmes?"

Black + Gas / Spike = Epicly Timeless



GEEKED UP



Youtube is the weapon of choice:



Spike got over skateboards:



This Blog Post + Skate and Spike Youtubes = SABOTAGE!



Buy this

After all that epicness, skating, moving pictures and all, I'll share this

NEIL YOUNG - THRASHER

CHOW

BBQ

Blonde Bombshell

RIP Anna Nicole Smith, a lady that I stopped thinking about years ago. Apparent suicide/overdose. Same old song.


She was one of the first pretty girls I ever downloaded a picture of. The internet owes a lot of early popularity to Anna Nicole Smith.

DJ BOOMAN - WATCH OUT FOR THE BIG GIRL

It's very easy to get lost in the self determined webworld, and forget that the majority of people actively concerned with "culture" consume the easiest available and palateable forms. Without them, we wouldn't have The Aviator, Sinatra or The Beastie Boys. But while we're enjoying art in all of it's pop, boom and glory, most people just want something that is cruel involving celebrities. Anna Nicole didn't leave any signifigant "work" behind, as her art was the art of American tabloid celebrity, and as annoying and infinite as it is, the concession is that it's disposable.

Anna Nicole Smith was gorgeous woman. I would be lying if I said that's the only way I will remember her.

OUTKAST - HOLLYWOOD DIVORCE (feat Snoop Dogg and Lil Wayne)


Damn girl, don't hurt em'



"This atrocious death will be a terrible lesson for those whose principal occupation consists in spying on and tormenting the film stars."
Jean Cocteau on Marilyn Monroe



Marilyn Monroe is incomparable. Her death was important. She still defines sex, and legions of hack actresses have had fruitful careers because they have a flake of her photogeneity. Anna Nicole Smith can't be compared to Marilyn in any way except her hair colour, tragic death and the fact that Marilyn Monroe was a massive part of what we knew Anna Nicole Smith to be. In terms of the late Ms. Smith, Marilyn influenced how we shot her, coloured her, treated her, cut her, and how she will be remembered.

THE ONLY ONES - ANOTHER GIRL, ANOTHER PLANET

It's no different today than it was fifty years ago, the fans of a star want them to lose love, fail at work, and do a press conference on too many pills. Maybe that's why some celebrities decide to take too many.



It's just a shame when stars of whatever magnitude melt under their own shine and the public's burning adoration, interest and jealousy.



Enough death, tomorrow I'll put up a mix by Twentytwenty called "40 Minutes of Fun."


BILLY JOEL - WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE

CHOW

BBQ

PS: Yes we did

We Live In A Magic Kingdom

I can give you what you want.
I can make your heart beat short.
I can make you ice cream
We could be a sweet team
Melting in your vice dreams, sport.
-The New Young Pony Club "Ice Cream"

Like Michael Jackson, Barry Bonds and bong hits, Vice Magazine take a lot of sour raspberries and sanctimonious flak from people pretending that they didn't once love them.

Lately, Vice has been like a childhood best friend with a rabid wolverine in their brain and insurmountable physical dependencies. The experiences range from awesome to horrific, but you're always glad to have them hanging out in your bathroom or on your coffee table for a few weeks.

Two days ago, Vice went over the internet's head, raised the bar, turned it into a real bar, opened the bar, and declared "hooch on the house, we NEVER close." They don't mix drinks, but points of view channelled through their skilled coterie of pros, hos, closers, clothes horses, and trouble for their nosers. In a more committed rhyme, it's those that chose the road less glorious, but more notorious. All I'm saying is: Lance Bangs, Metal In Iraq, Eugene Merman, David Cross...and it just started.

The Youtube trazillionaires didn't get their youtubes tied, but that little rag from Montreal just cooked up a baby in their lab, and it's coming out smoking. Click the link below to taste the waste.

VBS

My Cousin just registered me with a facebook account, undershooting my age by a few years (Class of 02' Stand Up) Here's dancy nostalgia by Certified Bananas to the lovely ladies and little punks that comprise the youth resurgence in my family, oh yeah and any of the other googleplexes of people that saw The Little Mermaid.

CERTIFIED BANANAS - KISS THE GIRL

On the Deez-Ney/Mouse/Canadian Left Wing tip: Torture expert and neck snapist Jack Bauer introducing a famous Canadian Socialist cartoon. Did he order the code red? You're goddamn right he did!



While you're ruminating on Mouseland (and the fact that Jack Bauer/Lt. Kendrick is Canadian), here's a kick axe techno hipsterockedisco tune that references TV's 24.



TERRY POISON - 24 HOURS

If the tunes are too girly for some of you, my apologies, they're primarily for kids this cute:



Back to Bananas, Peanut Butter and Banana absolutely schools Peanut Butter and Jam. I used to have a video editing station next to a British girl who said that Bananas "Smelled like medicine." PB&B in the AM, smells like victory to me.

PETER, BJORN & JOHN - LET'S CALL IT OFF



CHOW

BBQ

PS: Dumbo size scratch behind the eras to Aurgasm Palms Out and Crossing State Lines for putting the songs up.

Absolutely Febulous

Image bit from The Biz Biz

Now it's time to bring out the headliners, they've been on top of the pops, they've been on "This Evening with Nigel Craze", they were voted "Indiest indies" on MNE.co.uk, now...here they are...the hottest band in all the land:

English Gloom!!!!!

KLAXONS - GOLDEN SKANS (Erol Alkan Dub)

I don't know why, but I like the Klaxons way more without the vocals. Did I break some rule with that? Current coolness arbiters, don't take away my "c pass", I still want to go to shows and wear shoes with holes in them without cute girls telling me I'm "dressed like a tramp".

This instrumental is already hiring a crack team of defense lawyers for the case of "Currently Fourteen Year Old's Spines and Brains vs The New Rave Movement."

Damn babylon barristration can't even spell "Nu" correctly.

THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE QUEEN - KINGDOM OF DOOM

This jam is real. I felt that the last Gorillaz record was a "9 PM er", this all star circus of tsunami TGTBATQ (I could't resist), is a "Nine AM er."

BILLY BRAGG - A NEW ENGLAND

Thumbs up for theme songs, thumbs up for right now.

CHOW

BBQ

PS: The third hand is coming. Five when it arrives.



Too scary? Howzabout: