I can give you what you want.
I can make your heart beat short.
I can make you ice cream
We could be a sweet team
Melting in your vice dreams, sport.
-The New Young Pony Club "Ice Cream"
Like Michael Jackson, Barry Bonds and bong hits, Vice Magazine take a lot of sour raspberries and sanctimonious flak from people pretending that they didn't once love them.
Lately, Vice has been like a childhood best friend with a rabid wolverine in their brain and insurmountable physical dependencies. The experiences range from awesome to horrific, but you're always glad to have them hanging out in your bathroom or on your coffee table for a few weeks.
Two days ago, Vice went over the internet's head, raised the bar, turned it into a real bar, opened the bar, and declared "hooch on the house, we NEVER close." They don't mix drinks, but points of view channelled through their skilled coterie of pros, hos, closers, clothes horses, and trouble for their nosers. In a more committed rhyme, it's those that chose the road less glorious, but more notorious. All I'm saying is: Lance Bangs, Metal In Iraq, Eugene Merman, David Cross...and it just started.
The Youtube trazillionaires didn't get their youtubes tied, but that little rag from Montreal just cooked up a baby in their lab, and it's coming out smoking. Click the link below to taste the waste.
VBS
My Cousin just registered me with a facebook account, undershooting my age by a few years (Class of 02' Stand Up) Here's dancy nostalgia by Certified Bananas to the lovely ladies and little punks that comprise the youth resurgence in my family, oh yeah and any of the other googleplexes of people that saw The Little Mermaid.
CERTIFIED BANANAS - KISS THE GIRL
On the Deez-Ney/Mouse/Canadian Left Wing tip: Torture expert and neck snapist Jack Bauer introducing a famous Canadian Socialist cartoon. Did he order the code red? You're goddamn right he did!
While you're ruminating on Mouseland (and the fact that Jack Bauer/Lt. Kendrick is Canadian), here's a kick axe techno hipsterockedisco tune that references TV's 24.
TERRY POISON - 24 HOURS
If the tunes are too girly for some of you, my apologies, they're primarily for kids this cute:
Back to Bananas, Peanut Butter and Banana absolutely schools Peanut Butter and Jam. I used to have a video editing station next to a British girl who said that Bananas "Smelled like medicine." PB&B in the AM, smells like victory to me.
PETER, BJORN & JOHN - LET'S CALL IT OFF
CHOW
BBQ
PS: Dumbo size scratch behind the eras to Aurgasm Palms Out and Crossing State Lines for putting the songs up.
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